The Bravo Blog: May, 2008

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5/26/2008

Memorial Day - What, Why, and How to Observe

Today is Memorial Day. For many Americans it is the unofficial start of summer, a 3 day weekend, huge sales at department stores and retail outlets for those not working, and for a select lucky few a day marked by parades and events. Unfortunately none of these events comes close to the true meaning, purpose, or symbolism of this day. As an American veteran and a stout political and current events blogger I feel it is my responsibility and duty to help Americans learn about the day’s significance and purpose and to help my international friends to learn about our nation’s holidays and history as it is supposed to be, not how it is currently observed.

The origins of the day are lost to history and controversy, just Google “Memorial Day origins” and you will find many different sources, some creditable and some not, offering fuzzy historical opinions about the day. The day has history and significance in both the Northern and Southern areas of the United States. While uncertain of who did it first, the practices and reasons behind them were the same. Due to the devastation the war caused to all Americans there were real steps taken to preserve their memory and sacrifices. At the same time every year Southerners laid flowers on graves and ensured the plots were well maintained as well as saying prayers. In 1865 a group of freed slaves reinterred a Confederate mass grave of Union soldiers in the Charleston South Carolina race track giving them each an individual plot within a fence and gate marking the site and returning the next year to place flowers on the graves. Despite who did it first, the day of remembrance was universal. Here are the facts:

Memorial Day began as a way for Americans to honor the ultimate sacrifice many Union soldiers made during the War Between the States, 1861 to 1865. Southerners had their own days set aside
Many communities across the nation, including the reconstructing South, made some form of observation to honor those fallen soldiers by placing flowers, clearing grave sites, singing hymns, etc (Alabama, Florida, Georgia, and Mississippi held observation on April 26th, when flowers were fresh)
In 1868 the day was called Decoration Day by Major General John Logan, the founder of the Grand Army of the Republic (a Union veterans society), on May 5th designating May 30th as the day for the gravesite maintenance and flower placements to be done, President Ulysses S. Grant held observations at Arlington
In 1873 New York was the first state to officially recognize the day, by 1890 all Northern states followed suit, Southern states continued their own observances of different days
In 1882 the name of Memorial Day emerged
After World War I, 1914 to 1918, Memorial Day was shifted to commemorate all fallen American soldiers, this was the first time the South fallowed the Union’s observance of this day
In 1954 Congress officially changed the name to Memorial Day
In 1966 President Linden B. Johnson declared the official origins of Memorial Day were in Waterloo, New York acknowledging Henry Welles’, John Murray’s, and John Logan’s efforts
In 1968 Congress passed the Uniform Holiday Bill shifting 3 holidays to Mondays, to take effect in 1971
In 2000 the National Moment of Remembrance resolution passed setting 3 PM local time as a time to pause and reflect on the sacrifices made by American service members to defending and protecting the nation

Now we are aware of the day and how it came to be a holiday. The reason for its being, the honoring of American soldiers sacrificing ones life for the country, has been lost of the years as parades and patriotic observations have fallen to travel, sales, barbeques, picnics, and times with friends and family. There are many who are trying to get the holiday back to its original day of May 30th as well as properly educating the public that the day is to honor those who laid down their lives for our great country. While veterans do have their own day to honor their time, efforts, and sacrifices, those who made the ultimate sacrifice deserve their own special day and we all are obligated to these sacrifices for the lives we have today. Thanking a veteran for their personal sacrifices is something we need to do each time we get a chance, they do so much and ask for nothing in return to preserve, protect, and defend our way of life. Traditional and necessary observations of this holiday include: Visiting the graves of fallen soldiers and decorating them with flags, flowers, and wreaths as well and ensuring they are well maintained and remembering the sacrifice this person made in ensuring our freedoms and rights:

Flying flags at ½ mast from 8 AM to Noon
The running of the Indianapolis 500 car race, since 1911
Attending parades and public gatherings to remember the armed services and patriotic recitals
Observing a moment of silence at 3 PM to remember the selfless acts of our soldiers and thanks them for our freedom and blessings they helped secure and maintain

Please be aware of this day, its history, significance, and symbolism. It is not ‘just another 3 day weekend’ or the beginning of summer or day to hang out and relax. No, today is a day to reflect on all that we Americans take for granted and those who laid their lives down so we could have it. Every freedom we have today was earned by the spilt blood of soldiers across the globe. Our patriotism, pride, and identity have fallen off since the 1990’s and we need to regain it now more then ever. According to the Depart of Defense war archives and others, from the Revolutionary War to the Bosnia we have lost 1,310,514 US soldiers in combat (not including the 482 Afghanistan or 3,975 Iraqi combat deaths currently as these are not over yet). source: American War Deaths Throughout History. Each and every one of these people deserves our deepest gratitude for their sacrifice. Of this total nearly half, 623,026 Americans lost their lives in the War Between the States, still our bloodiest and most costly war and one that touches nearly all of our ancestors in one way or another. It is this reason we need to take a break for our day off of work, for those who have a day off, and remember these people, honor their memory, and teach our children and their friends why this is a special day. The day off work is not to give us rest, but for us to honor our fallen heroes and show them the respect and admiration they earned with their lives. Visit a war memorial, fly a flag, read a famous passage about our brave soldiers sacrifices, and give a moments pause at 3 to remember and thank them because freedom is never free.

Only by connecting with our past can we understand why we are on the course we are on. Only by refreshing our patriotism and staying vigilant can we keep our country on this course. Only by understanding what we have, why we have it, why so many sacrificed their lives for it, and what responsibilities come with it can we ensure we will serve them, ourselves, and our children well. We have one of the longest operating national governments on the planet and this is no mistake or by any accident. For the past 232 years, since our Declaration of Independence, people have been willing to die for a free, just, and fair country. This day, Memorial Day, is their day. Remember them, honor them, thank them, and most importantly… pass this on to future generations so these lessons will never be lost or forgotten.

5/20/2008

Toddler refuses eatting followup

After researching the effects of milk/formula consumption we had our daughter cut back on it both volume wise and frequency. The first day we did not see much of a change, but by the second her appetite was there and her interest in food was beyond the scope of just something to play with. One thing I found, Sophia likes to immitate grownups and is more apt to try something if she can do it herself, like brushing teeth, drinking from a glass, and even eatting.

By the fourth day of cutting back her formula intake she was acutally sitting down and eatting different things. At a restaurant she seemed to love the bean sprouts and tofu, if only she could do that in 4 years time! She is actually able to get good from a bowl using chopsticks, but not the way she is susposed to. The concept of a spoon and fork are still not quite there, but as long as the in-laws don't give her too much milk, she is living with them again now, then she will continue to eat.

One note, kids have smaller everything, except eyes. our stomachs are about the size of our two fists put together. My wife and her mother always try to make Sophia eat a grown ups bowl worth of food, its what all mothers do. While kids do need more energy and calories, they have higher matabolisms, their stomachs can only hold so much. According to the experts on the web kids should eat 4 times a day with 2 to 3 snacks between meals, raisns, apples, carrot sticks, etc. Their meals should be kid sized and energy rich. The first year a child will use 90% of the food energy they get to develop their brains, after that their bodies need to catch up. Milk and formula have lots of calories, fat, and protien so if they are full of it, they have no need for other sources of food.

It seems kids should be weaned from the bottle at 2. This is shocking as I can remember seeing kids in America drinking from a bottle as old as 4. It does not mean their milk consumption should stop, just stop from the bottle. Getting a kid interested and moving onto solids and eatting from a bowl and plate is vital in meeting this goal. Cutting back or thinning it out with water if they demand a bottle will help. I think letting them try to feed themselves and treating them as able to do some things on their own will help out as well, did for our daughter. Trying to force her to eat was a pain and took 2 to 3 hours, now she will eat a little on her own and not complaign so much when we feed her the rest.

If you think your toddler is not eatting enough, check how much milk/formula they are consumming, when they are consumming it, and how long after this you are trying to feed them. Understanding their physology and needs is very helpful in understanding the way to get them to do what is needed and in their best interests. Remember people are like water and electricity, we all like to take the paths of least resistance. We can only push so much, making it easier will help out and lower everyone's stress levels. After one week our daughter had an appetite and enjoyed eatting. I would say for a majority of the cases lack of eatting is milk related, but it the child is cranky, does not like to go to potty, or cries when eatting (really cries) then consulting the doctor about stomach or intestine issues may be a wise course.

The 5 stages of loss and China's 5/12 earthquake

People familiar with psychology or sociology will know there are 5 stages to loss. Last week the events of the earthquake here in China have moved the entire nation and the stress tragedy is being felt far beyond the affected areas. Yesterday at 2:28 and for 3 minutes the air was eerie as the sound of car horns, train horns, and sirens filled the air as people bowed their heads and thought about the victims, both departed and left behind to cope. Today and tomorrow the same are observed, but not as much as it was yesterday.

The 5 stages of grief or loss are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. One week later and we are fully into bargaining. The first stage was impossible to absorb, nearly all of China and most of Asia felt it, the full scale TV coverage followed by news and internet coverage made denying the disaster impossible, much like the surreal images of 9-11 for Americans, train platform images for Italy and England after their bombings. Unlike those man made disasters this one is caused by Earth’s ever changing geology. This makes the second stage, anger, hard to resolve as well. Who can you get angry at? People have blamed the government for not warning them, for officials dismissing the dropping lake levels and exodus of frogs from rivers and lakes as ‘normal, construction companies for shoddy workmanship as schools collapsed while other buildings next to them did not, and finally the fates for causing such misery and destruction to innocent people.

Bargaining is the phase when you try to regain what was lost, people, objects, positions, what ever was taken away. It can be as subtle as trying to trade time off or replacing furniture. When people, communities, a cities generation is lost this is much harder. Charity and donations mark the bargaining phase we are in at this moment. Depression is soaking in on those directly affected, followed by those who witnessed the events on TV and computer screens, reading the papers every day, listening to the radio coverage. While it hits people differently there is something we all need to remember, again a lesson we all learn through such events. Time is fleeting, it is precious, and we can not get the moment back once it is gone. The best way to handle the earthquake of last week is to stop taking the precious things we have in our daily lives for granted. Nearly every creature comfort we enjoy today is now gone for those in the effected areas. Running water, food, shelter from the weather, a job, family, friends, material items, diversions and entertainment. All this is something we need to thank God, which every god you like, for blessing you with. Be generous and share but do not lose sight of those things in your life that can not be replaced.

Acceptance is the final stage, the time we move on, look forward, and build things anew. Many lessons will be learned from the events that took place of the past week. Many people will live with these events replaying in their minds constantly. In a few years time and distance will erase the events form the minds of those who where not there, until some reminder brings them temporarily back to that moment. There is no timeline for moving, each depends on the person and their comfort level but in China the country as a whole is healing as those in the region hit deal in their own ways. There is a stark contrast between the two groups, but both are united in their sense of greif which is touching to see and witness.

Every generation has its defining moment, the time that is burned into everyone’s mind who lived through that event. Nixon’s resignation, Kennedy’s assignation, Columbia’s and Challenger’s explosions, the Berlin wall coming down, the LA riots after the Rodney King verdict, September 11th, hurricane Katrina’s aftermath, these are but just a few of the defining moments for Americans over the past 40 years. Not all these moments need to be bad and tragic events to be defining. What about the good times in one’s life? Leaning to ride a bicycle, swim, drive a car, first love, marriage, children’s births, special anniversaries, work promotions, children’s graduations and marriages.

Living in Asia allowed me to further explore the concepts of balance, here you can not live happily if you are out of balance. Times like these just are a reminder that for all the good times, we will have to endure bad as well. We are truly lucky if our good times exceed our bad. Everything will balance itself out eventually, for all that is bad and terrible there will be good and terrific to cancel it out, its just a matter of time. Live every day as if your life depends on it, tell your loved ones how much they mean to you, place the things in life that matter most as the highest priority as the events of last week teach us, it can all end with little to no warning and then it is hard to deal with plans that can no longer be achieved as the reasons have been lost along the way. We are unique in that we can learn from others without experiencing it directly, let us live up to this by taking the things in life that are precious to us and thanking our creator for them and blessing us with our time with them as we can clearly see what can happen in the blink of an eye. The 5 stages of loss/grief are important, necessary, and allow us to move on. China is well on its way, in two and a half months it has to be, its largest party in modern history is waiting for them.

5/12/2008

Earthquake!

Yes, that's right, there was an Earthquake today and the building my office is in was swaying pretty bad. We evacuated and after 40 min or so we came back in. I am a little nercous and have vittago now but all seems well. I am really glad we sign papers on the new apartment tomorrow. The new place is a 5 story building and we will be on the 5th floor instead of the 32nd where we live now. I will get the low down on the quake, strength, epicenter, et all as I am sure it will be widely reported here, all the buildings in our area were evacuated. It did strike around 2:40PM local time, maybe a little earlier. Our office was not swaying side to side but felt like it was going around in circules. This was the second movement I have noticed in the building moving but this time it was really really really really bad.

5/5/2008

When a toddler refuses to eat

Earlier tonight my wife and I were in distress because our daughter refuses to eat. My wife called her mom who started telling her we were not trying the right things to get her to eat and did not know any better; I turned to the internet, namely WebMD and Google. At first it seemed Sophia may have an intestinal issue, but keeping true to troubleshooting protocols you always try the more simple things first. After an hour of research I asked Coco how much milk she had given Sophia today, 3 bottles roughly the same amount of 36 ounces plus water and some juice. Our daughter is 15 months old this week, very tall, loves to play, and seldom complains or shows any symptoms of a stomach ache but she is under weight. The research is pointing to too much milk. Sophia has little interest in food, other then playing with it. She is starting to want to feed herself, which is understandable. I did not know that at 2 kids are supposed to be off the bottle, so it seems we need to cut back on her milk/formula then alter the times we give her a bottle allowing her to have an empty stomach and be more receptive to eating.

We will have to see how well the advice on the many parenting bulletin boards I read was. It makes sense to me, children have much smaller stomachs, higher metabolisms, and find bottle feeding much easier and less effort on their part. It has been hard to be away from her for so long and many of the things parents experience we have not so it ups the stress levels when things don't go according to our expectations. I am hopeful the old troubleshooting axiom of 'problems most often require the simplest solution' holds true and we just are not up to her feeding needs for her age. The next challenges will pale in comparison to this, getting her to understand English, listen when we tell her 'no' in what ever language we say it, and to enjoy taking naps or going to sleep. Less calorie fluids until she eats, then some milk for nap time and bed time, and smaller but more frequent meals/snacks over the day and hopefully she will start to eat more, drink less milk/formula, and her appetite should develop and feeding her will not take 2 to 3 hours and chasing her all over the house and fighting with her just to eat half a bowl of rice soup or noodles.

Thailand Photos done

I have finished all 3, yes 3, photo albums from our Thailand trip this spring. I have not forgotten about the recap of our take in the adventure, or the mishaps along the way. The past week was Labor Day holiday in China, 3 days including Saturday, and I took an additional day off as Coco brought our daughter up for a few weeks visit. There are things I would like to discuss, but the reason I have not is the same one why the postings have been scant, time. My project management role at work has expanded 3 fold. My MPLS implementation role has went from Asia Pacific to now include Europe and Americas too, a new total of 44 orders to track (up from 9) and monitor on a daily basis. My Benefits tracking role was extended by a minimum of 1 month, with them trying to fund me until the end of the summer, and guess what... I am now tracking the Americas in addition to Asia Pacific (yes Canada to Argentina). Add this to cleaning the home and toddler proofing the home, getting ready for a mid-month move to a new location in Shanghai, and you can see why time has been scant.

I think I have some photo quota left so I will get pictures of the much taller Sophia out, last weekend was rainy, and we wanted her to settle in and relax for a few days. There are ideas brewing on topics ranging from gas prices, to housing markets, to food inventories, to Detroit's sports teams (the two best being in playoffs right now, go Wings and Pistons!) and my thoughts on raising bi-lingual children (right now Sophia understands Mandarin but only speaks Cantonese and has no clue what I am saying if I speak English) and the state of world health care that Mr. Moore did not mention in his movie Sicko, and no, I did not see it.

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